Train Riding

I once met a dude who boasted that he worked on a fuckin' steam train. I was like, "Hey dude tell me about the biz."


He was like, "I don't think you've got what it takes for this biz."


To which I replied, "WHADDAFUK?"


And he was like, "You too pretty to be shuvelin' coal all day in the heat and the dust and the sweat. And you too bashful to let yourself be bathed by the hands of a nude man from Brazil afterwards, cuz he's the only one who cleans the grime and the gunk and the funk off of you."


And I was like, "You gotsta be kiddin' me. I've been bathed by legions of Brazilian men!"


So he was like, "Fine! Do it. You take my shift tomorrow. But if you wash out... you owe me a fuckin' ice cream sundae!" And he handed me his clothes after taking them off (yes he was naked BFD). We shook hands and it was on!


So I worked the train engine the next day. It was a laff. It was fun! I got dirty and hot and just real criminal up in that joint. It was all worth it, I thought. All worth it to be cleansed of the filth by the tender hands of a strapping, muscular Brazilian manservant. Yes, I thought I had it made, as I strolled to the bathhouse. I just couldn't wait to lay my eyes on the young man whose job it would be to expell the residue of a day's labor from every crevice of my husky bod.


Imagine my surprise...


When I came face to face...


WITH THIS!

Sho nuff, I ended up giving that train dude a fuckin' sundae. HOLY SHIT.

Taco

I smell sexy, because I'm sleeping in my tortilla sleeping bag. And I'm wearing tacomeat pajams. FUCK YASSAH!

Aaron Rodgers

It's time. Time to SHINE. You know we have mad luv for Brett. You know the passions are especially HIGH know that he's a Vike. So you, youngblood, you gotsta show us what you've got in your sack.

You got no balls?

Soft balls?

Or brass balls?

Personally, I'm rootin' for you. You ain't Brett, and I don't want you to be. I want you to be YOU. Aaron Rodgers, QB of the Green Bay Packers. Bart Starr. Lynn Dickey. Don Majkowski. Brett Favre. Aaron Fucking Rodgers.

Impressive, ain't it? Feels good, don't it? Weather's nice up here. Get used to it. Cuz I have total FAITH and TRUST that the stuff you got in your sack is the right stuff. The stuff it takes to wear the Green and the Gold. To walk onto Lambeau eight times a season and know that THIS IS YOUR DENSITY.

We know what's coming, don't we? You and Brett ain't done yet. Put Kurt Warner out to pasture. Then get ready. You know what I think?

I think the third time's a charm, you righteously sexy motherfucker.

What Brung Ya?

Hey sweet peeps! I just got a list of my top search terms that bring
the readers to my extremely popular blag! This is pretty funny! It
shows da TROOF about the fact that people in the world want "the
strong buck" or don't know what "bj stands for" and have a ragin'
desire to watch people graphically fuck each others balls off in a
bungalow! Check it to wreck it:

gropecunt lane
gropecunt
bj and the bear
bj stands for
wikipedia gropecunt lane
bungalow porno
bungalow snack
gropecunt wikipedia
how to get the strong buck
images of bj and the bear
kisscock
l. rick vodicka porno
naked nerds
snack overload

Gropecunt Lane

Dudes, ladies, pet owners, firefighters, and religious zealots, I've got some good fun cooked up for y'all. It comes courtesy of one of the best sites out there. It's called WIKIPEDIA and I really luv the way it is always there for good ol' Beejmeister. I can read about just about any topic of my choosin' and feel happy and pround that I have bettered my brain. Better than buttering my brain!!

Today, Wikipedia's featured article is about Gropecunt Lane. It's in Jolly Olde Englande! And it means what it seems like it means! It means that it is the street where dudes go to grope cunts, and ladies go to have their cunts groped! Yah ha!! Yikes! How amazingly awesomely mindblowing and rad is THAT?

Here are my suggested street names, for an anticipated future in which our American culture isn't so UPTIGHT, PRUDISH, and AWFUL:

1. Touchpenis Blvd.
2. Grabnuts Rd.
3. Tonguecheeks Ln.
4. Kisscock Rd.
5. Slapschlong St.
6. Manuallystimulatewang Ct.
7. Shavescrotum Pike
8. Pokebutt St.
9. Enteranus Pkwy.
10. Semenspit Ave.

Holla back at me, y'all!

BEEJOUT

The Shit MySpace Kids Write

I was at my favorite website, MySpace, when I ran into this crazy shit some teenaged kid wrote! I had to share it wit' ya!

All right boils and girls, I'm Trey and well I'm my own person. There is shit about me I hate and love. If you want to label me you probably are a dick,but for those who must I would go with hardcore/emo/indie.Yes I did say emo only cause i have weird mood swings, like i might go a couple days without talking to anybody. I'm not a violent person but if it comes to it I will fight,thats where some of the hardcore comes into play. I'm a sxe kid, I dont know why I said kid cause I'm not one, but sxe is short for Straight Edge. This means I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have random sex with unknown people. I choose this because its who I am it proves I'm strong enough to get over these pathetic desires and urges most of these people just have to do these days.... pussies... I am my own person I tend to dwell in my own little world, theres that indie. I love music often friends can find me just sitting around listening to music from the hardcore break downs of Bury Your Dead to the acoustic of Harley Poe to the soothing sounds of Beethoven, yes weird collection of music I listen to. I enjoy video games, I am a avid game player. My favorites are the Resident Evil series, Legend of Zelda series, and Halo.Resident Evil is by far my favorite I love them I am one of the biggest R.E. nerds you will probably meet. As for Halo, I am a beast. Well I will now end this probably drawn out brief description of myself, but just remember this profile is not the complete me this barley scratches the surface so don't judge me completely by this.

Oh! I Forgot One!

Another good, timely porno title: "Stimulus Package" LOL!!! OMG so funny!